A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
