do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
