first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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