I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
