i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
