Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
