Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
He kissed a someone with a penis
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
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