Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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