You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
