I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
We need to rekindle our bromance
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
