We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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