would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
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