Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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