What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
