At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
My liver just had a heart attack.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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