come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
