He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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