obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
