R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
