my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Randomize
