So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
