Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
