I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
