The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
