it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I wish I only lived at night.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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