You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
