Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
