but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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