My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
