Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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