Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future�
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
We need to get me chipped asap
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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