i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
