Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
