as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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