Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
