OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Is Oprah even human
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
