??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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