Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I take back everything I said about communal showers
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Who died my cat blue again?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
