take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
