i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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