So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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