So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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