i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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