that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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