If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Randomize
