fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
