So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
i think i have herpe
just one?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Randomize
