I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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