I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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