Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
